lonely

that is what i have been feeling most days.  lonely.  hubs has been working his second job for almost 7 months now, and while the pay check is helping our pockets...its really hurting my heart.  we miss each other, he misses the kids, i miss him being with the kids, i miss having help around here.  and there is nothing that can be done about that right now.  i'm trying to stick it out and be strong, but i'm wearing pretty thin these days.  the pms isn't helping either this week!  all i want to do is cry. 

he feels completely terrible and guilty, and i don't want that.  i tell him over and over again how proud i am of him.  he is doing this because he IS a good husband and father.  i was hoping that david would get into the full day pre school program, but they are starting him out at 2 1/2 hrs, 5 days/week(which in reality, is better for him...he's going to need baby steps at first).  so that means i can't even get a part time job during the day.  hubs likes his second job.  he recently got bumped up the latter into a new position, and also got a raise.  so he doesn't really want to leave, we just want to figure out a way to spend more time together.


i try to break up the monotony of the week be going to my parents' house one night for dinner.  david gets to run around, and emily doesn't have to spend as much time alone with him! lol  the rest of the nights, its just me.  alone.  this passed week david slept over my parents' house one night because emily had to get up early for an MRI.  it was nice because i got to have a girls night with emily and my sissy.  i think i need more things like that during the week.  its hard with everyone else's schedules though...and i don't want to be a bother to anyone.   

i know this is only temporary.  we just need to make the best out of the time we DO have together.  

oh well, that's the situation.  we'll see what happens, i guess!