Wednesday, July 1, 2015

To Delete or Not to Delete

For quite some time I have been contemplating deleting my little piece of the blog world.  I just can't do it, though!  Since I haven't been able to pull the trigger, why not type up a post?!

When I started Tina's Place way back when, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing!  I quickly found a little niche with the crafting blogs.  It felt good, I had a purpose even.  Something happened along the way, that I think happens quite often with not only moms, but women in general...I started to lose my path, my fire, my passion...for EVERYTHING.  My sewing machine is collecting dust, I usually only bake for special occasions these days, and I just could not(and still haven't) find something I can be passionate about.  I have been struggling to carve out a new path for myself, and it sucks.  I hate this lost feeling that I wake up with almost daily. 

That being said, I'm certainly not giving up!  I have been trying to see things in a new light.  See my  struggles as gifts.  As shitty as my struggles are, they will get me to the place I want to be some day.  Its a slow process, though.  I am so tired of striving to be what other people are.  I don't want to be like THEM...I want to be like ME! 

Some things that I have started implementing on my journey:
*Working out because I WANT to, and it feels good...not because a program tells me I HAVE to!
*Not restricting what I eat...back to good 'ole moderation!
...these two have been tough for me.  I have always done better(by "better" I mean, lost weight) on a strict program with specific guidelines.  Let's face it...the programs I have tried are NOT sustainable.  Seriously, the SECOND you tell me I can't have something I want it even more than I ever did pre "life style change"!  If programs work for you, that's fuckin' great, but for me they're not realistic. 

Anyhoo...
*I started a gratitude journal.  I firmly believe that what you put out is what you get in return.  Being a Debbie Downer day in and day out is just no way to live.  I'm trying to put a positive spin on everything...and I mean EVERYTHING. 

Which brings me to:
*Mantras! You know, "start each day with a positive thought"-type shit.  Some mornings I forget...I mean, I AM trying to create a new habit here.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  The mornings that I do remember to say even just one positive thing, (or insert a few throughout my day) I can honestly say I go to bed at night with a more peaceful heart.

I know this is a little random, but fuck it.  Maybe I'll be back, maybe I won't...but its OK either way.

"I express gratitude for all the good in my life.  Each day brings wonderful new surprises." 

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