its been a long weekend

 i've been having a hard time putting my thoughts into words lately.  with emily's 5th birthday swiftly approaching, i've been feeling sad.  feeling sad mostly, i think, because she is growing up so fast, but also, because i'm afraid of what we're missing.  with her delays, she's not doing what a typically developing child does.  she doesn't play with dolls or do hubby's hair.  when we go shopping, she doesn't help me pick out her clothes.  she doesn't play with toys that a 5 year old would play with.  this has been a very difficult time for me.  are we going to miss doing all of these mommy/daughter things?  will they just pass us by??  i don't know, and that sucks.  i'm so proud of how far she's come in the last couple of years.  i need to remember her accomplishments instead of dwelling on things that may never be.
my love and pride for her will never fade.  no matter what.