Tuesday, June 8, 2010
mama said there would be days like this
david, oh david, you test my patience. david has been getting more difficult over the last few weeks. i thank hubby's side of the family for his temper. he screams and throws tantrums like nothing i have ever seen...over silly things! today we were at the dollar store, and i let him choose a toy(something i ONLY do @ the dollar store because they sit right there on the floor where he can reach them...and because they're only a buck)...all i needed to get was a few more flour sack dish towels, i grabbed them and headed for the line to pay. here is where the trouble begins. he refuses to even stand in line! luckily no one was behind us--but the two people in front of me must have bought one of everything in the store because it was taking forever! i convinced him to come stand next to me, and it was our turn. that kid couldn't ring those towels up fast enough! i mean seriously, don't they just have something where they can punch in "quantity 10", and then only ring up one...noooooo, this kid rang each...one...of...them...up... it was a tug of war trying to get david to hand over the toy so that could get rung up as well...eventually the tag ripped off, and i handed that over. then it happened. my little cherub hit me right across the face with the toy. i wanted to crawl under a rock. meanwhile, since the tug of war began, about 4 people filed in behind us. i was instantly red and sweaty...and trying not to choke the life out of my son. all i could mutter out was "david ronald"...you know, in that "i'm going to kill you" tone of voice?! as we walked to the car, i was yelling. i told him how embarrassed i was, how i couldn't believe he acted like that. we got to his car seat, i took his toy from him, and threw it in the back. he cried, but sat still so i could do his straps(i think he knew if he made any sudden moves, he may not make it home in one piece). i got into the car, yelled a little more, then cried. he was silent. we never acted like that when we were kids! i called to ask my mom for advice, but she didn't have any for me. WTH? so i cried again. i vowed i would never be that mom, with that kid in the store. achieving that is going to be a lot harder than i had anticipated. we rarely go out during the day because that is what i fear the most, and i know how his temper is. today, he confirmed my fears about his behavior. i'm so sad. i've tried yelling, i've tried time outs in his bed, ive even tried spanking. none of it fazes him. now i will attempt to put him in the corner. i'm not sure where to go after that. i'm praying with everything that i have that its just the "terrible twos", but i think it may be more than that. my heart is just breaking right now. i'm not really sure what else to say. :o(
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Oh Tina. First of all, big huge hugs for you. I know how this is. Collin has had tantrums, although his are few. I do have a not so fond memory of him laying on the floor in the middle of CVS as I was trying to pay for a prescription, though.
ReplyDeleteI will truly, truly hope that it is just the terrible twos as well. The only thing I can do is tell you what I've figured out has worked (sometimes) for us. C doesn't get second chances - if I say no to something or tell him he's behaving in a way that is not appropriate there is no "one more time." If he does it again he's in time out. And his time out spot is at the bottom of our stairs, facing a door, down the hall from everything else so he has NO stimulation whatsoever. I think that is key! You've got to find a spot where David can't see or do anything!
I also make sure to constantly give Collin choices. I let it be his choice to behave well so he can do something he likes(I try not to promise prizes or food... just something I know he'd like to do - like play outside or whatever. In extreme cases, though, you just can't avoid these things). So, for example, before we leave for the store I'll say "Collin if you're good while we're at the store when we get home you can do (fill in the blank)" and, God's honest truth, I'd say 75-80% of the time it works! I am constantly reminding myself he's only 2 (well, not even really), but I find if I treat him like he completely understands me I get more acceptable behavior than if I just assume its going to be an awful time...
Anyway. I'm sure you are doing the very best you can, which is all you can do. You are a great mom, and I'm sure with David you'll figure it out!
Oh Tina, big big big hugs. I have some spirited and independent kiddo's as well, and I know exactly that feeling you have where your embarrasment just fuels your anger that much more.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, too, because different things work at different times. Sometimes I just ignore him if he isn't being too loud....he isn't getting attention. If I am not in a hurry, I give him an option of leaving now or in two minutes (kids LOVE choices)I have even put him in timeout in the middle of Walmart before.
Before we go in the store, I do set up my expectations for him. And the times he is good, I make a huge deal out of it. I tell him over and over how proud I was he behaved so well in the store.
Two of my favorite books that I mix and match advice from are Love and Logic and 1-2-3 magic. You might want to check them out!
And you are NOT alone
i have so been there! i am sorry this happened b/c i remember how bad i felt when my boys were tihs age. please know that an end is in sight and he will go back to the sweet child he is.
ReplyDeleteeither that or send him to a military school.
I wish I had the right answers for you. It's so frustrating when they don't behave. There are so many moms in your spot so know you're not the only one fighting this battle. I used to just ignore my little guy when he had his tantrums. I just walked away and left the room. It didn't seem to be fun for him when nobody was watching. Of course that doesn't work out in public.
ReplyDelete