stand in mommy

sometimes i would just love a clone. we've been having an issue with emily not being able to STAND the sight of her brother. she throws the worst fits i've ever seen. i have many theories on the subject, but nothing is absolute. how do you tell a three year old with special needs that her brother loves her, and that he'll probably be the best friend she'll ever have? its one of those things that makes you feel like a failure. right now there is no clear cut answer...and that's a painful reality. since she can not communicate verbally, we know how she's feeling when she's happy, content, angry, tired with her body language. but its getting more complicated than that now. you can see that she desperately wants to say what she's feeling(especially when she's having an upset moment). her lips squirm to force out a word, but there is nothing there yet. its got to be the most frustrating and stressful situation for her. i know it is for me! i want to comfort her, and acknowledge how she's feeling, but its so hard. i feel like i'm doing the best i can...but sometimes that doesn't seem like enough. i was in melt down mode after the kids got to bed last night. sometimes i just need those moments of grief. i need to be pissed off at the situation for a minute, tell my hubby that its not fair--then pull myself back together and march forward. we'll get through it...but moments like we had last night-i could live without!

on a less stressful note, i made the gift for emily's teacher. i think it came out really cute! the perfectionist in me can see that its a little crooked, but i don't think its too noticeable. and i'm just too lazy to make another one at this point!!