getting over it

ok, yesterday's post was a downer. i'm over it, i love my sissy--i'm sure we all have our moments. i'm also sure that we'll be chatting on the phone before the day is over.

so today i'm focusing on the positive--my kiddies. as stressed as i get over them, they always make me smile. i love to smile, people know me for it. i'm not usually one to not have a smile--most of the time...hey, no body is perfect(yesterday is a great example)! even when david is being terrible, getting into things i just look at him and my heart smiles.

i need to focus on emily for a bit. that little girl has worked harder than any adult i know. i'm not just saying it because i am her mother, either. when we brought her home from the hospital, we thought we had won the baby lottery! she slept through the night immediately! we were actually dreading it because of all the horror stories that our veteran parent friends had told us! we were practically gloating, and throwing it in their faces. when she was around 6 months old, we started to think how odd it was that she never really played all that much...she was a sleeper. we just blamed it on her father--who could sleep through a natural disaster! we mentioned it to the dr, but he assured us that all babies develope at their own paces...not to worry. we were trying tummy time, and all of the usual things that you try to do with babies...with not much success. at 8 months she still wasn't rolling over or sitting, but she was a big baby...she had "more to try to move...don't worry". this went on until she was 18 months and still not rolling, sitting or attempting to walk...but she was still our good little sleeper. since then, hubby and i have concluded that she slept through some major developmental moments. she has seen 3 neurologists--the first told us she was probably just being "lazy". he did do an MRI that came back normal, but that's all we got out of him. jerk. the next one was doing an evaluation for the school district. we were on the same page about everything--she was great! however, she was only doing the eval for the school, and did not take our insurance. the 3rd neuro came by the 2nd's recommendation. we were also on the same page, and were ready to schedule extensive testing. until someone dropped the ball on her end. we never got our call to schedule the tests...and not one call-of our many-was ever returned. so on tuesday we will see our 4th neurologist. i am jaded. medically, she has been put on the "back burner" since she was 6 months old. its frustrating. her course of treatment will probably not change...therapy, therapy, therapy...but, why did this happen to her? could it happen to her children, or david's? by the way, david has always been about 2 months ahead of his milestones.

emily started early intervention services when she was about 22 months old(after all of the paperwork and evals that they have to do). she received physical therapy, occupational therapy, developmental intervention, and speech therapy...8x's per week! when she turned three in march, our school district found a special needs preschool that operated 15 minutes away--in the same town. i was terrified to let my 3 year old go to school, 5 days per week, 6 hours per day...and have to take the bus!! i was a wreck for a few weeks leading up to all of this. but emily continues to amaze me. she loooves school, loooves the bus, and everyone loooves her. i am so proud of her! yesterday, she took two steps on her own. she fell, but the point is that she tried. she's ready, and it won't be much longer before she runs to give me a hug, and is able to tell me that she loves me. i get tingles just thinking about it. i am so impressed by her, by a three year old.

its been a long difficult road, but she reminds me everyday to keep trying.